I've taken a job with the University as the Assistant Manager at the Centre for Student Development within the Students' Union. My main job description is to oversee Orientation. Did I ever participate in Orientation? No. Do I have the capacity to bring all of my great ideas to the program? YES.
Needless to say, I am very happy that I am back in Alberta. I'd been at home on Salt Spring since the middle of January (and also from mid-November to Christmas). In this time I was doing a whole lot of things, some of which include:
-wallowing in fear of real life
-vacuuming twice a day
-eating only chips and tortellini
-yoga
-reorganizing my inherited button collection (only partially kidding on this one)
This kind of time at home was MUCH, much needed. I needed a breath and a reprieve from my everything.
Contrary to the 'breathing' thing, in some ways I don't actually 'breath' at home. Let me explain: having no school work to do anymore when I am home allows my mind to expand to all of the things that need to be done around the house. The house is to the point now that almost everything I do is gravy - icing - cherries - sprinkles. Take your pick. The house smells clean, looks clean, functions as a place where people can stay without having to step over anything, and holds memories efficiently. I have literally hauled enough stuff out of that house to sink a ship and hauled my bum up and down those stairs enough times to make the house what I wanted it to be (a functional place). Where my mind now goes: scanning all important documents - where are the important documents - WHAT are the important documents - what should be archived? - what can be shredded - how to organize said things - baby clothes - what to keep, what to give away - grade 3 drawings of stick bugs (clearly keep, archive and digitize these).
WHAT AM I THINKING.
I told many people when I was home that I was choosing to hobbit up at my house, and that I was engaging in a lot of personal, emotional work. This is all very true (still is, of course!). What became very, glaringly clear to me - as silly as this sounds - was that I needed to get a life. Yes, I am burdened with not only my own life's' possessions, but also of my families'! I can assure you my friends that this is not the ultimate burden to be bestowed. I am so grateful and so thankful for having the opportunity to cherish the things in my house the way others aren't able to, but really? Digitizing important information? Let me see . . . . digitizing important information orrrr HAVE FUN IN MY LIFE?
I absolutely realize that these are very strict opposites and both actually are very important, however, the former now must be taken in much more concerned and observed moderation. The latter, needs to be placed a little further up the ladder than I feel like it has been for the past while.
Can we say BREAKTHROUGH here people?!
(I can feel as though some of you will be saying HA-LLE-LUJAH!)
I know, right?! So exciting! I hope you know I had to think long and hard to come to these conclusions.
It seems silly for me to say to myself to 'get a life' but I actually sort of like it. It's strict enough of a statement to remind me to stay on course -instead of re-convincing myself that my old ways still need more attention-, but also general enough that I don't feel nailed down to complete this task in specific ways. Huge frigging win I say.
All of this being said, as I was applying and interviewing for jobs back in Alberta, I was very consciously monitoring my 'home' to-do list. I managed to not add many items, and tackle most of the remaining ones. The ones left over, I am at peace with not finishing. And the most important thing: being happy and satisfied with what I accomplished, instead of focusing on the things I still wanted to do. No more do I want to worry, fret, stress and control things that should be out of my control (when I don't live there). I literally drew an arrow toward my crossed off list and wrote "see this?! YOU did this! This is amazing and awesome!". Such a dork.
So this is why I named the post as such.
I am totally thrilled with my efforts on many fronts - emotional, house, and life - wise. You won't find me 100% a different person - in fact, I plan to be mostly the same person except a whole lot more awesome!
One of the things that WAS on my list was to get some pictures up, and I managed to achieve it (well, almost).
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| Notice the 'well,almost'?. I almost managed to complete the circle but ran out of printer ink! Oops! |
The other really exciting thing that you might notice is that our beloved family piano has made its' return! It has been on lend to our cousins for the past few years and as they have outgrown it, it is now back at our place. I can't tell you how enthusiastic I was about having the piano back - I must have sang and played for at least three hours that first night! Good thing our neighbours don't live close by .. .
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| So much better with things on the wall! |
And so I've decided to halt the overhaul. All future major overhauls will only ever occur on long weekends or not on my time (dad has plans to finish the stairs and upstairs this summer - we will see about that!). Whether or not I'll be able to stick to this rule I'm not sure, but the thought process around letting go and setting my own true goals, just for me, has been so freeing and so amazing.
You can expect just as infrequent posts in the future on the updates of the house, but you cannot expect this girl to let this house suffocate her any longer. (That is such a dramatic way of putting it but you get the idea).
Worker bee OUT. :)
